


a smile that can stop the world

by Jaelicate



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Jaechun are JUST soulmates in this, M/M, soulmates ftw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 23:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3707017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaelicate/pseuds/Jaelicate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just one time he wanted to be on the receiving end of that beautiful smile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a smile that can stop the world

It was always hard to believe how beautiful Jaejoong was.

it wasn't about how he looked in front of the cameras, all dolled up and ready to crush every girls (and boys) heart by simply winking or smiling a mere moment.  
It was in the little things he did.  
The way he played with his nieces every time he saw them even if it was for just a few minutes behind the stage. It was in the seemingly easy way he handled himself, the group and all of the staff at the same time, in the little spark of happiness that flittered through his eyes when someone called him beautiful. It was almost ridiculous how easy it was to please the eldest with small things and kind words. It made Junsus heart ache how insecure the man was, how he tucked away every little compliment especially if it came from one of his dearly beloved. But most of all…most of all it was in the smile he reserved only for the special people in his life.  
His mom, his dad, his sisters and nieces his brother-in-law and nephews and….and Yoochun.

Junsu had always envied the older man for this.  
The privilege to be on the receiving end of that beautiful smile.

It made the youngest still gasp for breath every time he saw it in full force on the eldest face. He had wanted this smile to shine on him as well. From the day they met in a stuffy practice room more than 10 years ago he had wanted to be something special for the beautiful yet shy boy. His affections had grown over this time. Back in the beginning he didn’t knew what these feelings were. He was just a stupid boy with not too much experience in the field of emotions; he had simply thought it was respect for the elder male. But the feelings had grown and didn’t stop on the thin border of brotherly love and adoration to the heart wrenching land of having a crush. It didn’t change anything though; he was too scared to make any kind of move.

He had seen that Jaejoong could build friendships and relationships in record time. Had seen him fall too hard and too deep for someone and had seen every time the oldest member picked himself up off the ground to start from new. He had seen how heartbroken the older man was every time someone had broken up with him. How he didn’t seem to find just the right partner even though he could win everyone over in a single heartbeat. How could he, Kim Junsu, think that he was worth of the older man’s love? Instead he had moved along the line, had seen how Jaejoong changed his personality as much as his hair color over the years, from the loving band mom to the ice prince every girl loved and back. Just in time to who he was dealing with right now. The elder boy was a magician with other people emotions.  
Junsu had seen how the people looked at him with adoration in their faces, people in any age group and any gender, young or old it didn’t matter, Jaejoong would win them over anyways. And when Junsu looked at photos or videos of him near Jaejoong he had to admit he looked at the eldest in the same way sometimes. It was that obvious that one day Yoochun had asked him about it.

“Your face looks ridiculous every time you look at hyung”  
“It does not”  
“Yes it does, what is it? Is our cutie Junsu in love?”

Junsus face must have been answer enough since the next moment he got pulled in a crushing hug from his friend. Yoochun never bailed on him. But Junsu knew that Yoochun didn’t know how it felt not to be on Jaejoongs radar. Yoochun was Jaejoongs best friend, his soulmate, his non-blood related brother. He didn’t know how it felt to be simply a band member, a friend at best. They would have left him behind with Yunho and Changmin if he hadn’t overheard their plans. They would get along just fine without him and this fact crushed Junsus heart over and over again for the next few years.

No one knew how Yoochun and Jaejoong could grow so attached to each other in such a short time but everyone knew they were inseparable, basically attached on the hip. They slept in the same room, beds and sometimes even same seat if time and place required it. They were practically a couple for the most part of their career and Junsu still wasn't sure how everyone could think about Jaejoong and Yunho being a thing. They got matching tattoos, had similar hobbies and the same circle of friends. Yoochun liked his girls ice cold and beautiful while Jaejoong loved boys messy and imperfect. It was a match made in heaven and if Yoochun would swing this way they’d be married 10 years already, everyone knew this.

It felt like a millennia that Junsu had envied Yoochun for this. For the easiness he got to touch their hyung with, for the little inside jokes they shared and the all-knowing looks as if they were conversing telepathically. For a long time he had wanted to be just like Yoochun, didn’t feel like a proper part of this band, not as important to them; but one day they came home after a night full of alcohol and cigarettes and presented him their newest tattoos.  
And suddenly there he was, imprinted on Jaejoongs and Yoochuns skin. As much of a part of them as they were of himself.  
“The difference between us is...” he had said that night, choked on not yet shed tears. “that you wear our names on the outside but I want to keep you both in my heart so no one can see and steal you from me”  
They all had shared too many tears that time, mourning lost friends and cherishing memories that would never leave their mind.

After this night Junsu had felt a new bond between the three of them. Finally he knew that he was just as important to them as they were to him. It had made him shine in a completely new light and with more hope for their future. But the night he finally had the courage to confess his feelings Jaejoong came home with the good news that he got himself a new boyfriend and that he did love him very much. It made Junsus world crumble once again and judging by the pitying look Yoochun gave him it was visible in his face as well. It was the first night he got really and horribly drunk after the breakup of tvxq. Yoochun was the one finding him at home, compassion on his face as he told him that Jaejoong hyung was worried out of his mind because of his fast exit but Junsu didn’t even listen.

“You know…it’s hilarious that you’re worried that much about me when you don’t have any reason to be. Hyungs smile is directed at you…not me”

He knew that he was being unfair to his friend, the envy he had tried to hide for the past 10 years speaking out of him.

“Just one…one time I wanna be on the other end of that smile. I want to receive it. He…why doesn’t he smile at me like this”

Yoochuns shirt got soaked in his tears in a matter of minutes as he emptied all the feelings he had hidden for so long on the only person that knew about his unrequited love. The slow strokes through his hair lulled him to sleep not long after and as he woke up the next morning with the bitter taste of alcohol and disappointment in his throat he faintly remembered Yoochun say

“It’s because you’re the reason he can smile like that”

He didn’t believe it, life went on. It was probably just a few well-meant words to calm himself down but the nagging feeling of ‘what if it’s true’ never quite disappeared.

Jaejoongs relationship didn’t last all that long after all and as the eldest tried to wash his sorrows away with alcohol, Junsu and Yoochun were there for him as they always were. They were family after all even if the youngest had an unrequited crush on the eldest.

 

It was New Year’s Eve 2014 when in a matter of seconds Junsus lost the hold on the world he knew for the last time. They were celebrating the holiday together, each one of them drained from the activities of the past year and the always over-booked holiday season over Christmas. Yoochun was playing the piano inside of Jaejoongs apartment, he always got too cold too fast and they were both worried he’d get sick outside with his asthma, as the remaining two stood outside on the balcony to watch over the fireworks that still danced on the night sky even though the big festivities had already dwindled down half an hour after the deadline.  
“Are you going to try dating this year, Junsu?” the blonde asked while facing the sky over the city. It made Junsu still for a moment before he calmed himself down.  
“no…no I don’t think I will”, was his answer a few seconds later and he felt Jaejoongs gaze shift to look at him more than anything.  
“Why is that?” the eldest asked with obvious curiosity in his voice. “Didn’t find the love of your life yet?”  
Junsu knew it was supposed to be a stupid joke, he could answer with a simple laugh but instead he heard himself say completely different words.  
“I did hyung, but the question is if you love me back?”  
Turning his head slowly towards the elder he already thought he had shocked him for good this time but instead, accompanied with the soft tunes of Yoochuns newest composition he found himself at the receiving end of the most beautiful smile he had ever seen in his life. It knocked the breath out of his lungs for a moment and he knew.

****

**He just knew they would be okay.**

**Author's Note:**

> not the first thing I wrote but the first I published in english. hope you guys like it
> 
> cross posted to [livejournal](http://jaelicate.livejournal.com/829.html)


End file.
